What role do you have in the relationship?
They conquer you, do their best and as long as you are together, it will stay cozy and fun, but as soon as the children come, something changed. Nothing comes out of his hands and can’t think that he can sometimes do something about it. He does it, but I always have to ask him and he gives a grumbling answer, keeps reading the newspaper and after half an hour he gets up and asks. What do you want me to do again? He doesn’t even hear it and do you think I’ll be waiting for that? I have already done the job. Can irritate me so much. Well exactly the same to me.
A woman often takes on the caring role within the family, especially if there are children. She arranges everything and in the beginning she doesn’t mind. As time goes on, and her partner starts to do less and less, she gets angry. Her partner does not understand her anger. Doesn’t she want to do everything herself?
The tensions in this household can be quite high. The mother who runs her legs out of her body to make sure everything runs smoothly and her partner thinks that he has such a good life, because he only does what he likes. She has often told him that she does not want to continue like this, but nothing changes. She regularly thinks of divorce, because fortunately she is not. Maybe she is better off without him, doing it, actually doing it, getting divorced, that is still a step too far.
This relationship will lead to a breakup if both partners do not see their own share and start the change together. The mother does not realize that she is mowing the grass at his feet and is pushing her partner into the position of a child, by picking up everything herself and wanting to do it in her own way. Then it finally happens well and if she has to wait for him, she would rather do it herself. The father does not realize that his partner is pushing him into this role and that he will no longer find this a pleasant position. Both are going to take revenge.
If we look beyond this relationship, they are both unable to deal with the situation, they lack an adult view. The mature view says, we are a team together and have the task of giving substance to this team. We coordinate things, we make our irritations known to each other and just as well the things we like about each other. Unfortunately they don’t build the relationship, they break it down without realizing it.
They are by no means the only ones who try to maintain such a relationship, many with them. The woman who naturally took on the care tasks and the man goes to work. Women no longer accept that, but on the other hand we have no idea how to implement the new way of living together.
To answer the question for her, divorce or stay, something will have to change within this family. Both must come to realize that they are the change. Not only the man, as the woman thinks, she will also have to change.
They will have to talk together in a loving way, after all they are together out of love. They will have to speak a different language with each other and realize that they have to give the relationship a modern twist. They have to change their roles into a mature way.
