How do you get what you want! Manipulate in a positive way
The word manipulation has a negative sound and when we think about the word, it is being abused.
We come across them every day, people who manipulate us, maybe you manipulate yourself too, without your noticing it. Or do you consciously manipulate? Manipulation is about convincing someone else. And you do that in a way that you influence the other person in such a way that they actually start to believe in it and act accordingly. The boundary between manipulation and normal influence is almost invisible, so we often only find out afterwards that it happened to us, where we can feel very used.
We have negative and positive manipulation. Negatively we are aware that we are manipulating the other in a way that is not respectful. We are also aware of positive manipulation, but the consequences are not the same as with negative manipulation.
Manipulation often occurs in people who are naturally more insecure than others. They are easier to influence and soon believe what someone else is saying. It also works the other way around, insecure people can also be a manipulator, because they want to mask their uncertainty with it and thus gain control over others. Manipulation is therefore something that is almost invisible and happens on the conveyor belt.
In life it is normal for us to give our opinion, if the other person is strong enough, he will listen to this opinion and pick out the good things and do something with it or not. That person is strong enough to choose his own path. But what if that power is missing and you lean on someone else’s opinion! Then it may just be that someone else tells you what is good for you, you blindly trust this and you work your way even more. In such situations there is abuse of the goodness of a person and negative manipulation is applied.
With negative manipulation, the person who manipulates is aware that it applies manipulation. These are very mean people. So they really abuse someone else, and they do that to put themselves in a better light. With manipulation you also lie and when you point them out, manipulation is applied again and you start to doubt yourself. In the beginning you don’t realize, you feel something, but you wave it away. This often happens in love relationships. You are blind because of love, you accept everything from the other, because you adore the other. And without you noticing it, you completely lose yourself, you dance completely to the pipes of the other, who has complete control of you.
You can use manipulation in a positive way. How can you use positive manipulation? We often find it difficult to dare to tell someone else what we do and do not accept, or what we like. We will slam shut in one way or another. We don’t want to confront the other person because we are afraid of the confrontation. However, you don’t help yourself by accepting everything from someone else, then you accumulate emotions that come out once and then usually as a big thunder cloud.
Positive manipulation starts with, not abusing the other’s goodness, that must come first, but by giving compliments, indicating to the other that you are also important and counting. That is positive manipulation.
Approaching someone in a positive way, you often get what you want and the other person has no trouble with it to do it for you.